PECKSNITIAN

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

pecksnitian (n.) one who inquires politely about your health while casually crushing your toes with his hobnailed boots

e.g., The profoundly pithy pecksnitian quickly toasted the belching bride and the grunting groom before commencing his tantalizing soliloquy on unforgettable passages from the classic spellbinder, The Great Pantyhose Crafts Book, by Ed and Stevie Baldwin.

Submitted by: Moosehead Poffenberger, a conservative cigar-smoking crooner from Baie des Ha! Ha! (Quebec), whose penchant for foolhardy feats like walking on water, egg-shells and hot coals got him nominated as a Saint.