Sunday, February 27, 2005

BLUNDERBOSS

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

blunderboss (adj.) descriptive of a senior person of straw with one minor finagling flaw and no "Get Out of Jail Free" card

e.g. The judge listened intently as the mustard plaster mogul (dressed in a custom-fitting, pin-stripped blunderboss suit) explained how he climbed out of his great honking Hummer one fine summer's day to survey the grand scheme of things, (having taken the wrong exit off the Yellow Brick Expressway and ended up in Heffalump Country); naturally, he did the only thing he could do -- pull out his GPS whatchamacallit to circumnavigate the fact that he was utterly lost and had but one realistic option: pinning the blame for this unfortunate predicament on the back of some truculent tin man in a toll booth, plus a depressing dunderhead with a missing tail named Eeyore, and the fateful conjunction of three planets Mercury, Venus and Uranus in in a moonbeam resulting in accusations of marital misconduct, malodorous money-laundering, and something about a small discrepancy in the celestial balance sheet of Pisces for the year 2004.

Contributed by: Martha Muskeg, a full-time fly-swatting manager, part-time ecdysiast, and casual music-box operator at the Mute Swan & Naughty Pine Legion Hall in Pelican Narrows, Saskatchewan