Sunday, February 26, 2006

WEEPLE

Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

weeple (n.) that part of melting wax that dribbles off a candle holder onto a pristine tablecloth leaving a frightful mess to fix or, a birthday candle without a wick that leaves the celebrant in a sobbing state of affairs and yet another god-awful glitch to resolve toute de suite.

e.g. Druzzil Ethan Damnaglaur, an inferior minstrel player whose saving grace was a rather odd form of genteel gesticulation, experienced an unfortunate turn of events recently involving an altercation with a 15 lb. English dictionary, a regrettable passage of ill wind in the small gut, and a whopping if not woebegone weeple leaving everyone in its wake snorting, snuffling and squiggling with a curious “what now?” look on their faces as they tried to bring some semblance of order back to a preposterous state of affairs that can best be described as where to stick a smoking match so it won’t discourage people from lighting their own fire – instead of waiting around for someone else to light it for them - be it God, Godot or just the smiley-faced Man from Glad.

Contributed by: Zelda Awdly, a professional tea party-tosser and part-time periphrastic pink slip writer from Grand Detour, Illinois.