Monday, December 05, 2005

REINBEER


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

Reinbeer (n.) the name of the official bubbly brew left by kids to quench the thirst of Santa’s sleigh-pullers leaving them slightly pie-eyed or potty resulting in impromptu shenanigans not to mention oodles of telltale yellow spots in the snow

e.g. As usual, "Donner" and "Blitzen" were complaining about the decline in the value of their stockholdings at the BubblyBewery this year, "Dancer" and "Prancer" were discussing the merits of a new pay-raise package being proposed by the Old World Christmas Creatures Union, "Dasher" was knee-deep in a ridiculous debate with a clueless Canadian politician over the impact of global warming on the vital moss and lichen habitat in the Arctic, "Comet" and "Cupid" were fulfilling their community service obligations by delivering a safe-sex and reproductive health seminar to a group of environmentally-conscious zoo keepers, "Vixen" was clearly quite upset about the shoddy quality of bling-bling for sale at the biggest discount box store on earth and how this might prevent her from winning the coveted “Beautiful Beast” title this year, while last but not least, "Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed-Reindeer" was far too busy sampling the suds, (better known as “Reinbeer”) to give two hoots about the very long night that lay ahead of them ...especially having to listen to a sybaritic fellow named "Santa", (all dressed up in a chartreuse satin suit with sequins and sparkles not to mention white fur trim accessories), and yodelling "Ho-Ho-Ho" wherever he goes!

Contributed by: Gladiola Hiquebran, an avid “re-gifter” of numerous odds and sods, who lives on Jingle Pot Road in the "World Capital of Bathtub Racing", Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada (also known as the Land of Ice & Snow and home to the hugely popular “Ho-Ho-Ho Hunk”!)