DOGUMENTARIAN

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

dogumentarian (n.) a dazzling dogmatic member of the doggone dogdom clan whose bark is worse than his bite

e.g. As a dedicated dog-trotting dogumentarian, a fast-rising Dog Star in the House of Common Critters, and Prime Minister Responsible for Dogcatching & Dogwatching in the only nation on earth comprised of hot dogs and roasted weenies, Sir Wilfred Whiffin was not interested in letting sleeping dogs lie unattended for too long, so he obligingly left the comfort, security and safety of his red and yellow striped doghouse with a heated dog-paddling pool to review the facts related to the latest doggo disaster and dire set of circumstances surrounding the disappearance of a high-profile dog and pony show from a dogleg vestibule in the Ministry of Dogsleds & Casual Living where a rather dog-eared, dog-faced, doggy-bag sort of fellow known by his colleagues as "Spot-On" accompanied by his associate, a dog-in-the-manger mule named "Frances" were practicing the limbo while waiting for some tootling top dogs to present a white paper on the need to fund a research study on the previously unexplored topic of who makes the best dogs-breakfast; frankly the whole thing didn't stand a dog's chance of success, which is why Sir Whiffin didn't want to woof too loudly as this might inadvertently cause a dogfight among among his dog-owning constitutents, undoubtedly attract far too much negative attention from the mangy media, not to mention ruin his dogged determination to become re-elected for the twenty-third time as "Numero Uno on the Dog-Pile" -- meaning he would face an uncertain future if not a dogsbody destiny as a doomed dognapper (...and "biting the biscuit" certainly was not on his list of 10 fun things to do before he died and descended into a dog-eat-dog place like Pooch Purgatory).

Contributed by: Paganini Jones, a voracious verbalist with a penchant for split infinitives and double entendres and more recently, a vivacious voo-dooing vocalist in the hugely popular hip-humming triangle-playing trio known as, "The Trout-Fearing Tinmen" from a great little whole in the wall place called Goochland (Virginia)

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Credit also goes to Julia and Mark Lucich, a wonderful team of talented artists on Saltspring Island whose fertile imagination and hands have created some very fanciful floating sculptures and assorted "Party Animals" to be seen at http://www.landingpartygallery.com