GUMSLINGING

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

gumslinging (adj.) descriptive of one who shoots from the mouth first and asks questions later

e.g. Dipple T. Plucknett-Whaplode, (who hated eiderdown comforters as a little nipper in Horton-Cum-Studly, England and thanked his lucky stars that he was neither a glockenspiel virtuoso nor a vertically-challenged member of a carnival freak sideshow), decided that he stood a better chance for swift advancement up the food chain of life if he attended a few ten-course banquets hosted by the renowned International Institute of Piffling Puffery (situated in Boinka, Australia) which is dedicated to serving the special needs of Type-A personality, gluttonous guests who dislike wrestling alligators for a living but delight in satiating their appetite for words ...not to mention demonstrating their egregious, self-serving, gumslinging talents on a captive audience of gut-wrenching vacuous verbivores and loopy if not latitudinarian linguists.

Contributed by: Vigitus Urled, a poor scholar who lives in Cow Yard, Massachusetts (not far from Mashpee, Sandwich and Belchertown) where he survives on weak grog, dog-eared adult magazines, plus salty crackers that break easily when smothered with ample portions of low-carb “cheese-whiz” garnished with gherkins and a few sprigs of Vitamin-C-enriched, organically-grown parsley or lucky flour-leaf clovers