Friday, March 04, 2005

DASHPOTIMIST

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

dashpotimist (n.) a Chief Cook & Bottle-Washing Pirate whose looting and pillaging days have come to an ignominious end

e.g. Deplaning from his dinghy (equipped with a state-of-the-art, turbo-charged inboard motor for fly-fishing, a Morse-code keypad, and a broad-band digital short-wave radio, not to mention brightly colored, waterproof foam-cushion seat covers), the daring dashpotimist, (known to his barnacle bedfellows as “Pot-Luck Puck”), fidgeted and fretted upon learning that Trillian Tootall, (a funky femme fatale just a titch past her freedom-fifty-five birthday), had lost her lollygagging life during a big flick, big snack and big perk evening out on the town with “The Shiftless Rounders”, “Hang the DJ”, and “Smokin Phats”, (not your average band of bashful boys); needless to say, this bit of niggling news left him with a touch of the blue-devils for the rest of his shoot-finger week aboard a curmudgeonly-oriented cruise ship full of fools, fops and fonkins.

Contributed by: Gwendolyn Dwingalling-Wallraff, a picturesque poppet with 25 years’ experience as an empowering kick-boxer and mud-wrestling champion from Chicken Gizzard, Kentucky, (formerly of "The Magic Angel Chorus-Line & Crumpet Café" in Wimp, California)