Saturday, April 23, 2005


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

pratagonist (n.) 1: the principal pumpkinhead or bleeping beast in a frigging fairystory that’s going nowhere fast 2: the lousy leader of a lost cause 3: a miffed muscle that by its very odd contraction causes the rest of the body parts to mutiny resulting an unexpected landing on one’s buns, buttocks, gluteus maximus, heinie, posterior, rump, or tush.

e.g. If you’ve never seen a Prince Zlatibor of Danmnaglaur whodunnit movie before, be prepared for an unusual delicacy of disembodied voices, whimsical landscapes featuring loos with no handles, and cutting-edge digitally-enhanced 3-D jolly green giants sporting a loose narrative trajectory, not to mention a big brouhaha at the Awful All-Ireland Traditional Music Competition started by a purple-faced pratagonist named “Twinkle Toes” who enjoys looking for a good time anywhere he can find it, or seeking a new beginning in a small Texas town called Ding Dong (which has no flute or fiddle players but more than enough shooting-from-the-hip opportunities to keep everyone there happy).

Contributed by: The Right Honorable James Offleyhoo, a mid-life man in crisis who appreciates a hearty ale, the dulcet tones of a fluglehorn, and a pretty pair of legs when he can see them without the aid of his trusty monocle