Tuesday, March 29, 2005


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

gooberologist (n.) a peanut bag inspector hired by petting zoos to ensure proper protocols are followed by pesky pre-pubescent perambulators known to frequent the monkey cages

e.g. As Edwina Trillian and her seventeen solace-inclined siblings stepped out of their baubled, bangled and breathtakingly boring but heavily beaded spaceship christened “Kitschy 50s”, they realized they were in for a postmodern pithy moment if not a subterranean surprise when they were greeted by a sassy shorn sheep with the mutton moniker “Patsy” (who insisted on giving everyone love-bites they didn’t ask for or need), an erudite fallen angel with a bent halo who expounded on the virtues of consuming soy bean nuts and low-carb boneless chicken TV-dinners, and a blue-uniformed, gold-braided gooberologist by the name of General Pouffe (who insisted on searching their duffle bags for five crapping birds, four missing monkeys, three French henpeckers, two taciturn trolls and a merry-impaired munchkin from a nearby petty zoo).

Contributed by: Sigfried Sullied-Truffle, DD (a Doctor of Debottlenecking), a casual daffodil denuder and a noted wishbone expert from the School of Megalophobia (also known as The Fear of Frightfully Big Things Few Have Ever Seen in Their Lives Academy of Learning), located in beautiful downtown Prickwillow.