GREMLINT

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

gremlint (n.) the annoying, invisible ingredient in cotton fuzz that ensures permanent adhesion to any dark item of clothing in spite of vigorous brushing accompanied by a healthy does of blasphemy, followed by a futile fine tooth combing, and last but not least...pathetic plucking of one’s hair out by the roots

e.g. On the eve of her sixth decade, the raunchy ragamuffin bid a fond farewell to her lifetime companion, (a two-timing tipsy tatterdemalion with a hint of gremlint on his jolly holly jodpurs not to mention pinchbeck piety on the brain), and set out on a Sagittarian sojourn, or perhaps it was just a salacious safari, with her new-found deadpan friend and gallant admirer, Eureka Wink (a casually-festooned fop with a penchant for far too many faux-pas and utterly crass “mots justes”, wimpy French fries with salt and malt vinegar, plus a piscatorial hankering for gaudy, glow-in-the-dark boudoir jewelry).

Contributed by: Handel Rocker, (an undercover go-between and former press secretary to Prince Pottifer of Panderingham), who now enjoys sultry afternoons in Hoop and Holler, Texas at the standing-room only Friendly Cactus Grogshop & Pit-Stop Watering Hole, replete with monosyllabic chatterboxes who on occasion are positively staggering with poise when not being called upon to do half-baked impressions of a pie-eyed politician