Tuesday, May 31, 2005


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

hogeusse (n.) one who throws a stylish swine and cheesy chuckle party just for the heck of it

e.g. A tipsy-topsy, limelight-grabbing childhood spent in a picturesque, hole-in-the-wall country school in Community Punch Bowl, Alberta prompted Sheena Sno-Glow's decision to live the next phase of her life somewhere else -- yup you guessed it -- in Square Butt, Montana ...as a half-corked hogeusse, a part-time gourmet cat food chef, a casual zombie nurse and a celebrated pulp cinema vampire extra in a hugely popular, colorless classic piece of schmaltzy schlock purported to be a 16 mm B-horror flick (with a tight, deep-dark comedy theme, badly dubbed hand-sync'd sound, long-winded if not hard-to-appreciate German sub-titles, translated into broken English and American Sign Language for the hard-of-hearing) as "Hogwash, Ginger Snaps & Trouser Accidents" (and directed by the late Joe-Bob Bigfoot, owner of a modestly priced, little-known, back-water movie boutique referred to in the trade as "The Weeping Waters Film Studio" -- situated in the heart of beautiful downtown Burbank, California).

Contributed by: Ms. Ganges Mondovino, a shy, simpering silent-movie script-writer and twittering tightwad whose last known whereabouts are said to have been something to do with sipping a dry martini while being draped haphazardly over a chaise longue in a rather garrish pink flannel nightgown purchased for $15.00 from "The Cat's Meow Clothes Closet" in of all places, HooHoo (West Virginia)


Illustration by Sophie Blackall for Meet Wild Boars by Meg Rosoff (Henry Holt, 32 pages) recommended for ages 3 to 7, or anyone who enjoys TUSK TUSK, STOMP STOMP and other dirty, smelly, bad-tempered and rude not to mention very scatalogical stuff.