Wednesday, July 13, 2005

CRACKLE-POT


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

crackle-pot (n.) a bothersome, clamoursome, fulsome, grumblesome, lonesome, troublesome so-and-so with a few stale-drunk attributes in keeping with a skyboshing souse or a sottish slawterpooch; not to be confused with another sordid species -- the ‘flush-pot’ -- a jiggle-jangle-bellied, jolly-conscious joint-smoker

e.g. She bushed aside the remarks of the ha-ha, half-assed, half-baked, half-cocked, half-cut, half-pint, half-witted, haggard-eye, hair-trigger, hand-holding, hard-core, hard-boiled, hard-edge, hard-featured, hard-hitting, hard-line, hard-nosed, hard-pressed, hat-worshipping, heads-up, heart-whole, heart-quaking, heigh-ho, helter-skelter, hell-raising, higgledy-piggledy, high-falutin, high-flown, high-handed, high-minded, high-pressure, high-priced, high-speed, high-sounding, high-spirited, high-strung, high-hat, hocus-pocus, hog-wild, holus-bolus, ho-hum, hodge-podge, hoo-ha, hoi-polloi, hoity-toity, honky-tonk, hufty-tufty, or here-and-there, high-and-mighty, Holy-Grail-seeking, high-and-dry, hand-in-glove, hand-me-down, happy-go-lucky, head-over-heels, hem-and-haw, hit-and-miss, hit-and-run, hold-one's-horses, hot-and-bothered, hail-fellow-well-met, high-on-the-hog crackle-pot who just happened to sashay up to her with a leap-to-conclusions look on his freckly frazzled face and nothing but effluvium and elbow grease on his mind; all of which reminded her of a full-blown, full-bodied, full-fledged, full-of-himself fusspot whom she encountered on the dance floor standing next to a futile flame-throwing fuddy-duddy named "Sir Freddy Flip" who attended the lst Annual Blimp Ball held last week, in Yeehaw Junction (Florida), honoring several macho meringue types wearing utterly smashing footwear not to mention impressively long and colorful titles after their names (suggesting they were perhaps miminy-piminy mundivagants of some kind or other as near as one could tell in this bewildering world of bozos and braggarts).

Contributed by: Myrtle Honeythunder, (formerly a Sherwood Forest bucket chucker with the industrial outsourcing firm of “Robin Hood & His Merry Mates”), who currently resides in an off-the-beaten track rather tight-lipped town called Beans Corner Bingo (Maine)