PLUMPKIN

Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

plumpkin (n.) a joy-challenged, abundantly-proportioned, gaunt-looking gourd with little going for her except the fact that she was raised by a peanut-farmer from Turkey Scratch, Arkansas

e.g. Rose Ripplebelly, a shy plumpkin, retired to her 24-bedroom mansion in Bummerville, California, (with features such as far too many well-appointed ensuite bathrooms painted environmentally-friendly hues of orange and green, an air-conditioned doghouse with a surround-sound meditation music system for her magnificent mutt named "Nuts of Knowledge" , and a rather humungous, heart-shaped, hot-tub), in order to contemplate how to define the central role that effective public relations, marketing, and development plays in the management of contemporary museums that no one wants to visit even with such great giveaways as a free supply of Halloween Kisses for one year, a magic bag of Kryptonite, and autographed copies of “Frosty is a Stupid Name”, “Mrs. Goodhearth and the Gargoyle”, and “Peek-a-Little Boo”.

Contributed by: Topher Many-Farms, a retired dentist from Floss, Arizona (but raised in Why, Arizona because his parents didn’t even know that Whynot, North Carolina existed).