TOMSNOOTERY

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

tomsnootery (n.) the ability to look down one’s nose at an inconsequential bit of fluff without losing one’s sense of decorum or one’s concentration during a particularly lively rendition of “Pop Goes the Weasel”

e.g. Hilda had to admit, she had lost her scintillating snob appeal of late; not that there was anything terribly wrong with that but receiving a hand-delivered, gilt-edged invitation to the annual Belle of the Big Ball might be rather hard to come by unless she could muster up a fancy faux-fox, a seductive XXL gown with sumptuous cleavage, plus a rather fine pair of two-toned, steel-toed stilettos before her half-sotted next-door neighbor and wild-boar hunting companion, Viscount Hogarth Drainville, got wind of her tomsnootery plan to reclaim her rightful spot as “Queen of Kitsch” at the upcoming pointless party of the year to be held on Friday, September 23rd at 8:00 pm sharp in the "Sargeant Preston of the Yukon Hospitality Suite" of a well-known mud-wrestling and popular bull-riding venue called the "Cup and Saucer Hotel" in Brush Coulee, Alberta (a hop, skip, and a very long jump north of the 49th parallel).

Contributed by: Plotinus Ouspensky, an amateur clown from Butter Pot, Newfoundland and author of the celebrated work, “New Dimensions in Deep Analysis of Things That May Not Actually Exist Without Assistance From A Magic Mirror”, published by Ghastly Ghost Publications of Carry The Kettle, Saskatchewan