Tuesday, August 30, 2005


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

blendsetting (n.) descriptive of those whose primary mission in life is to mingle in a crowd, melt into the woodwork, or blend comfortably into a cake batter but can’t quite accomplish this feat since they’re not truly transparent or tasty enough to fool anyone

e.g. Mundiggler von Aderkrass, a retired thumbtack and grommet sales rep from Ma-Ma-M-O Beach, Alberta soon realized that he'd made a terrible mistake in signing up for a Thursday afternoon course (at the University of Something or Other), entitled “The Deep Dark Secrets of Ancient Egypt’s Goddess of Turquoise”; and, if truth be told, he really didn’t give a tinker’s damn about the windswept plateaus in the Sinai Desert, a Proto-Sinaitic language that has so far defied translation, or a tawdry lot of twelfth dynasty dudes wandering about in the sand looking for clues as to what to prepare for dinner after a hard day of digging in the Milquetoast mines of Serabit el-Khadim…all of which meant that he should have trusted his gut instinct and enrolled in, Blendsetting for Beginners” – the easy way to pick fluff off Velcro and other synthetic fibres.

Contributed by: Elblag Trismus, (born in Beans Corner Bingo, Maine during the Age of Aquarius), is a celebrated connoisseur of certified 100% organic pedigreed beef, (of course naturally-raised in a breathlessly bucolic if not serene setting, that makes tracing the origins of the Black Angus Bull back to the glimmer of magic in the eyes of its hoofed parents a relatively stress-free endeavor as hobbies go)