Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

artachoke (n.) any piece of truly awful art work that obliges the viewer to gasp, giggle, or gulp involuntarily causing 1) a modest moment of mayhem, 2) a tiny tempest in a teapot or, 3) a rather ripsnorting riot resulting in the laying of a 'public mischief' charge.

e.g. Receiving a black-tie invitation to attend the annual Cheeky Cherub Art Exhibit & Auction to be held on February 14th in Tightwad, Missouri, Uriah Possumneck checked his brown-nosing "to-do list" on his trusty 'Whizbanger', (a nifty new photo, video, graphics, text messaging, email, music playing, personal organizing digital do-it-all device), to see if he had any previous engagements that evening as he couldn’t bear missing the chance to pick up an artachoke for his paint-by-numbers blonde bombshell main squeeze, not to mention two more mundane masterpieces to spruce up the breathtakingly barren washroom walls of the Big Buzzard Bar (located on the 19th hole of the Cheapskate Country Club & Casino); although if truth be told, he didn't really relish the thought of doing a short stint as Master of Ceremonies for this dazzling rubber chicken gala affair unless it came with a "golden parachute" or at the very least a “Get Out of Jail Free Card" for his estimable eupeptic efforts.

Contributed by: Dwayne Crummies, a dedicated refuse recycler and bubble gum baseball card collector from Oven Fork, Kentucky but raised in a comfy little place called Lick Fork (in the same state).