Friday, December 22, 2006


The newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

darwhimian (adj.) descriptive of a unique psychological or physiological trait that makes one different, odd, or strange with but one redeeming feature, that it provides a distinct advantage over the other critters found on the totem pole of life

e.g. According to Dr. Friederich Forefinger, an eminent authority on The Darwhimian Theory of Evolution, there are far too many foibles of the fanciful forest to keep track of these days, espcially since the onset of a phenomenon known as "the galloping glut of glee" which has had a deleterious effect upon unfortunate or undeniably unusual creatures such as those with a peculiar proboscis like Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed Reindeer, a hide-bound heffalump who casually parades about as a pink elephant, a tiresome talking mule, and a flatulating flying pig -- all of whom are biting the dust faster than one can shake a stick at; regrettably however, this eloquent theory does not account for the abundant distribution of undifferentiated asses, bird-brains, donkeys, geese, dumb-oxes, loons, mooncalfs, and turkeys among those occupying the highest position on the tree hugger's favorite trunk of knowledge.

Contributed by: Frances Follygate, a passionate pole-dancer and international chute-de-chute champion (who can't seem to get her lipstick on straight at the best of times); some have attributed these unique talents to the fact that her libation-conscious lineage hails from Little Sodbury (Avon) in the United Kingdom.