LICKENTIOUS

Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

lickentious (adj.) descriptive of one who is capable of thrusting out his tongue long enough to graze lasciviously over a lollypop or alternatively, sensuously smacking his lips after slurping up a soft ice-cream cone while simulataneously eyeballing a rather fetching piece of arm candy

e.g. The rip-roaring, rip-snorting rutterkin, (also known by his adlubescent acquaintances as a bit of a reelpot at the local Picktooth & Paunch Pub), dismounted from his rebellious rocking horse in either a dringling or a drubbling manner …he couldn’t remember which …just in time to catch a gargantuan glimpse of a blossoming bellibone emerging from the popular Painted Turtle Guest House, (formerly the Waddling Dog Inn for WASPS & Waywards); the good news is that luckily the lickentious lad landed squarely on his flat feet while the bad news is he lost his torrid tequila, hot sauce and black-pepper-flavored candy-on-a-stick during this decidely fruitless if not flapdoodling encounter.

Contributed by: Lothario Limpwater from Sucker Flat, California, a facile cross-cultural character who, though his lute-playing days are over, has fortunately found solace in a recent career change gig as the New-Age author of “A Solitary Sojourn to the Centre of an Egg” - making him a hit at tiny tot birthday party, tasteless tippling tournament, or raucous retirement roast.