Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

sobality ( an organized society of sobbing or sucky-faced sylphs who have never learned how to hurl humungous thunderbolts of laughter at patriarchal patterns of punditry

e.g. Fighting back the tears, Hester Weepinghoffer, (an eye-biting spinster of some renown), began poking about in her bottom drawer full of yellow and green polka-dot colored anti-flatulence pills, five vintage cat-scratching women’s magazines, several easy-to-prepare tasty troll recipes recommended by the head chef at the "Gristle Grill", plus a half-hearted attempt at writing her rather messy memoirs before it dawned her that she had spent more than 3.72 decades twiddling her thumbs, touching her toes, and tinkling the ivories on occasion just to keep up appearances – all part of her less than satisfying sojourn into a life of sobality as Executive Director of “The Hoodoo House for Hags with Hang-ups” (which probably had something to do with her unconventional early childhood years among a joint-smoking band of soothsayers and spin-doctors to Hollywood stars and a depressing dog named “Blue Who”) – but this was all about to change as she contemplated a week of crap-shooting in Las Vegas along with those three long-forgotten feelings of utter frivolity, unadulterated triviality, and wholesome vanity.

Contributed by: Pandita Dworkin-Gubar, (born in Ottumwa, Iowa), and author of a pedantic piece of piffle entitled, “Book of Nasty Nymphs, Sniveling Sylphs, Pouting Pygmies, Simpering Salamanders, and Karate-Challenged Kindred Beings”, published by The Verbal Vixen Karate Institute of Wacahoota, Florida