Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

wazoople (n.) a member of the kowtowing, mealy-mouthed, apple-polishing, brown-nosing, sucky-faced, toad-eating family of frightfully fawning fruitcakes

e.g. Ruina didn’t know quite what to expect from this blind date, but from everything her friends had told her about the weak-kneed wazoople who occupied cubicle #33 beside the water cooler just three steps away from the ladies’ loo and the vexing vending machine that made stale soup every Thursday, he certainly seemed like a harmless enough fellow; after all, she wasn’t exactly a long-legged, high-stepping, tap-dancing member of the world-famous Radio City Rockettes, but in a pinch she knew how to bat her eyelashes unobtrusively and smile since having her braces removed last week, and could maneuver majestically around a dance floor provided she wore a grade-A girdle, two pairs of pantyhose, and had access to a music map with a built in Global Positioning System lest she lose the beat or her way, whichever came first.

Contributed by: Oughterby Papigochic, a part-time airline baggage-handler from Frying Pan, California who in his spare time just adores leaping onto tables with sword in hand and pulling battleaxes, coats-of-arms, and miscellaneous muskets off the wall in one fell swoom, just to impress anyone who will watch him in the faint hope that they might help him realize his lifelong ambition, to land a walk-on part in a Hollywood horror film.