Tuesday, November 28, 2006


The newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

umdrum (n.) [um]+[drum] the pregnant pause associated with a pathetic person, a prosaic place, or a thankless thingumy gone thereabouts and that one wishes one had not encountered in the first place; not to be confused with other commonly known pregnant pauses such as "ah", "er", or "uh", or "dram", a small portion of drink that one could consume to forget all about an "umdrum"

e.g. As Sir Prance-A-Lot, (a colorful Carpet-Knight of some renown), approached the curious castle made of Owyhee Idaho spuds containing sugar, corn syrup, coconut, partially saturated vegetable oil plus one or more of the following: cottonseed, soybean, palm, not to mention cocoa powder, chocolate liquor, egg albumen, agar agar, salt, lecithin (an emulsifier), vanillin (an artificial flavor), potassium sorbate (a preservative) and sulfites, he had a nagging umdrum that he should have brought along his pair of spanking new spurs, his favorite hobbyhorse and his swishy swashbuckling sword to ward off any cookie monsters or candy trolls lurking about in the freaking forest run by a sourpuss named "Snow White" and a band of blowhards identified by authorities as "The Seven Deadly Dwarfs".

Contributed by: Sally Spinwam, "Our Lady of Lite Libations", and born-again bartender at the Church of Chuckles located on a highway off-ramp approximately half-way between a destination hot tub in Red Sucker Lake, Manitoba and a tantalizing town in the province of Nova Scotia called "Petoobook", a marvellous Mi'kmaq term meaning "a long dish full of salt water".