Friday, December 22, 2006


The newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

darwhimian (adj.) descriptive of a unique psychological or physiological trait that makes one different, odd, or strange with but one redeeming feature, that it provides a distinct advantage over the other critters found on the totem pole of life

e.g. According to Dr. Friederich Forefinger, an eminent authority on The Darwhimian Theory of Evolution, there are far too many foibles of the fanciful forest to keep track of these days, espcially since the onset of a phenomenon known as "the galloping glut of glee" which has had a deleterious effect upon unfortunate or undeniably unusual creatures such as those with a peculiar proboscis like Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed Reindeer, a hide-bound heffalump who casually parades about as a pink elephant, a tiresome talking mule, and a flatulating flying pig -- all of whom are biting the dust faster than one can shake a stick at; regrettably however, this eloquent theory does not account for the abundant distribution of undifferentiated asses, bird-brains, donkeys, geese, dumb-oxes, loons, mooncalfs, and turkeys among those occupying the highest position on the tree hugger's favorite trunk of knowledge.

Contributed by: Frances Follygate, a passionate pole-dancer and international chute-de-chute champion (who can't seem to get her lipstick on straight at the best of times); some have attributed these unique talents to the fact that her libation-conscious lineage hails from Little Sodbury (Avon) in the United Kingdom.

Friday, December 01, 2006


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

comity of errors (n. pl.) a loose sort of social harmony, casual courtesy or fleeting fellowship based on the mutual recognition of bloopers, blunders, boo boos, boners, botch-ups, and bungles.

e.g. The Commander-in-Chief of the famous Swaffham Bulbeck Biscuit Brigade, (known for their exploits in trouncing the tasteless if not truculent “Cookie Monster”), felt quite comfortable in the company of his arch enemy General Whatsit, (Supreme Commander of the Ripplesworth Rum Cake Regiment who once put a dipsomaniac dragon on ice with a dram of Captain Morgan’s); after all they were both bonded by an unusual comity of errors, i.e. big battles that fizzled or went flat as a pancake, an experimental escapade in a foreign land full of flakes, fruitcakes and nuts that deprived them of meat, fish and fowl for a year and obliged them to wear uncomfortable non-leather shoes and unfashionable non-wool clothing – clearly a fate worse than death, and of course, there were more than a few delightful damsel-in-distress deeds that unfortunately landed them in the drink on one occasion and in duck soup on the other, not exactly what one would describe as a thrilling night out on the town with a “timbit”, (a wee doughnut drenched in sugar), and would certainly not qualify either one of them for the prestigious "Best of A Bad Bunch" Award.

Contributed by: Pibsbury Swanibost, a vertically-challenged, vehicle appearance specialist (i.e. a shorter than average car washer), and a committed mycorrhizal fungi collector from King Arthur’s Court, Michigan