Sunday, January 07, 2007

FLATTERCHATTER


Newest addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

flatterchatter: (n.) descriptive of one with an incredible if not insatiable appetite for all forms of adulation, praise and recognition; (note: if the eyes are bigger than the head, it’s a dead-giveaway)

e.g. Before sitting down at her desk as supervisor of a state-of-the-art, brand-name, bagless, self-cleaning, upright vacuum Customer Service Center, Francine Frogworthy took a moment to reflect on life and adjust her durable, rechargeable, long-life battery lit, rust-proof, user-friendly titanium tiara with a high gloss finish featuring an embedded portable MP3 player including a built-in noise canceling system, digital mega bass and enhanced sonic performance not to mention a cordless phone with Call-Waiting/Caller ID, a do not disturb and mute button, a 40 name and number memory, melody ring tones, not to mention a VIP alert service and three snug-fitting, soft-silicone, full-range earbuds plus a color-coordinated, integrated, detachable neck strap; although much to her surprise she had to admit that today she was feeling a tad morose in the absence of her daily dose of flatterchatter provided by the minor minions reporting to her.

Contributed by: Wickwillow Tump, a distributor of tear resistant, odor absorbent, leak-proof training pads for pooches and seasonal resident of North Piddle (Worcestershire).

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