Sunday, September 26, 2004

"PICKTOOTH" AND "BLASTED CHURCH"

Today is brought to you by "Picktooth" (and a bit of "Blasted Church")

The days of our lives are often a tad boring if not downright flatline.

So, if you find yourself in a funk -- the python next door has squeezed the living daylights out of your pet rock, the tuning fork has run away with your spoon, and your palm-pilot has taken a nose dive in a pond leaving you rudderless without your "to do" list or for that matter your address book -- it's time to throttleback!

Besides "tossing the turkeys" in your life, you need to unpack your long-forgotten magic memories and enjoy a pleasurable "picktooth" period for a change. After all, 'leisurely moments' (aka picktooth time) can also include lost-in-reveries. If this is not your style, chuck "the bear went over the mountain" routine and try something else.

Remember, there is no one "right" way to cultivate or harvest a "picktooth" moment. Just tap into universe and let your mind wander into something curiously creative, utterly time-wasting, and undeniably fun for you.

To start the process, don your not-a-care-in-the-world cap, turn on your mood-music for mastadons, and pour a glass of Blasted Church white wine. Then let your puckish "picktooth" patterings or your engaging encounters with a pikka-bird unfold right before your very eyes, you delightful little munchkin you!

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For more fun, take a wee peek at http://www.pseudodictionary.com

And to order that special bottle of bubbly, check out the "Nice Nose and Spicy Labels" of the Blasted Church winemakers at http://www.blastedchurch.com


Saturday, September 25, 2004

TWEE DEUM

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

Twee Deum (n.) any breathtakingly boring rendition of a soppy serenade (sung slightly off-key) by a bouncy, bare-midriff, hip-hugging tweeny-something who hogs centre-stage on a live-TV talent show

e.g. The judges agreed unanimously, "A blood-curdling yodel by a renegade vampire would be a welcome relief from the tone-deaf trills and twaddle of this Twee Deum."

Contributed by: Hamish McBucksnort , a former caber-tossing, kilt-wearing gentleman farmer from Grizzly Bear's Head & The Lean Man, Saskatchewan (somewhere smack dab in the middle of nowhere anyone's heard of lately).