Tuesday, November 23, 2004


A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

vapid stomatitis (n.) an acute viral disease of gift horses rendering them speechless, their mouth-watering owners toothless, while turning nosey-poking jockeys into jackasses in a jiffy

e.g. The brown box arrived by courier (with a tiny but discretely placed warning label affixed that read -- "Vapid Stomatitis - Handle With Care") -- so I promptly took it along to our weekly management meeting and asked which one of the magnificent mastadons on the team wanted to munch on the goodies inside; needless to say, one hungry hypochondriac volunteered and fortunately we've never heard a word from him since.

Contributed by: Henrietta Kaffeklubben, a prize-winning spelling bee contestant known for her probity and colorful half-time performances at the annual Snakes and Ladders Tournament in Weeping Water, Nebraska