Friday, November 26, 2004

KOOKAMONGUS

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

kookamongus (n.) the sort of person who derives a great deal of pleasure from telling family, friends and even complete strangers that he resides on a prickly patch of property in Satan's Kingdom (Vermont) during the summer blackfly season and an air-conditioned shoebox in Hellhole Palms (California) to get away from four wretched calling birds, three noisy French hens, two twittering turtle doves and a frigging partridge in a pear tree

e.g., When I last saw him, the kookamongus piano-player was looking for lost sharps and flats that dropped off his page of sheet music shortly after becoming mesmerized by the whimsical appearance of a rather fetching, fleet-of-foot, female Fed-Ex courier with her color-coordinated clip-board and matching nails.

Contributed by: Harold P. Berriwillock, a rather fine if not fanciful fallen angel seeking repose of the soul somewhere in the fullness of time between Climax and Purgatory (Colorado)