Sunday, November 28, 2004

WHIZBEAN

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

whizbean (n.) an entry-level payroll clerk whose fabulous feats include moving the boss's cheese with alacrity, but moving mountains, well that's another story requiring a different skill set that this individual regrettably does not possess

e.g. "This feels so good it must be fattening, unhealthy or illegal" said the warbling whizbean; but then he remembered what the genie in the bottle told him -- “trust everyone but tether your camel” -- so, he decided to return the crumpled garrishly-wrapped package of fragrant-smelling weeds to their rightful owner, a delusional desert-dwelling, sweaty but smiling soul eagerly sporting a spanking new buzzard black and magenta-colored neck tie with matching ear muffs and a pair of mighty fine spurs attached to his floppy leather thongs.

Contributed by: Jock Fishlove, whose favorite book in the Zanzibar Public Library is Frans Masreel’s 1952 classic cliff-hanging, weepfest thriller entitled, Geschichete Ohne Worte -- a sad love story without words but oodles of heavy-breathing woodcuts for those with an abiding interest in minimalism and, some might even venture to say, a rather passionate obsession with simple black and white plot lines