Sunday, December 12, 2004

BATTYNORT

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

battynort (n.) a fly by night sort of fear-factor-less type

e.g. The born-again battynort picked up his pluck and his trusty rattle-bladder filled with genetically-modified, blight-resistant, super-sized peas designed to scare off uninvited guests and wilderness pests, when he noticed a lurid-looking, non-fiction how-to bestseller (lying ever so quietly on the salt flats beneath the hoof of his petulant camel named “Humptulips”) entitled, The Magic of Telephone Evangelism by Harold E. Metcalf published by the Southern Union Conference of Atlanta, Georgia in the year of our Lord 1967.

Contributed by: Borysko Jones, nicknamed ‘Torn Nails’, an environmentally-friendly pulse crop farmer and casual collector of authentically-detailed, easy-to-mount, do-it-yourself inflatable rubber deer heads for rec-room walls, (formerly of Grizzly Bear’s Head & The Lean Man, Saskatchewan but now a happily retired weed-whacker in Skinners Pond, Prince Edward Island)