CHINTZY-CHIN-WAGGER

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

chintzy-chin-wagger (n.) one who bends your ear for three hours, blows you kisses, and then has the unmitigated gall to assume that you'll pick up the tab including the seven course victuals plus three chicken wing nappies, two dozen vanity-sized vermouth cocktails, followed by fifty flutes of chilled ice-wine and a plate of exotic fruits and nuts (from the rainforests of the Amazon courtesy of Walmart)

e.g. The chintzy-chin-wagger named Laurence LeGrunt heaved a sigh of relief having avoided a fall from grace into a green with envy gulf, a withering whirlpool of mix-master emotions, not to mention a quirky quagmire filled with churlish chin-up types, disco dancers wearing canary yellow hip-waders, and a band of Freedom-55 rock stars with gluttonous binging habits verging on sour grapes.

Contributed by: Panajotis Glick, "The Elf of Eeek" in a sobriety-awareness scene from A Twisted Christmas Carol performed by the Pooh-and-Punky Players, an amateur troop of ho-ho-ho-ing thespians from Pooh Lake and Punkydoodles Corners, Ontario