Friday, December 17, 2004

ORDER OF THE DUFFART

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

Order of the Duffart (n.) title given to anyone who, among other things, frequently sweats bullets while trying to 1) pacify pet rocks with a case of PMS, 2) suck cholesterol from eggs with a straw, or 3) pull chestnuts from a fire without getting burned to a crisp

e.g. The Knave of Three’s-A-Crowd, Sir William Mummelgum, dismounted his toothless gift-horse with as much pomp and circumstance as he could muster, snapped his digits to keep the Goddess of Glitch blissfully out of his hair for the next half hour, and then sauntered nonchalantly into the Court of The Quipping Queen to receive the Order of the Duffart (for his abysmal performance in “Hedge-Creeping”, his bone-crushing draw in “Heel-Tapping”, and his lacklustre defeat in a mindless game of mortless combat called, “Hunt The Whistle”).

Contributed by: Constantine Hair-Wreath, owner of “Cleopatra's Boudoir & Bidet” and long-time resident of Bath Addition, Pennsylvania