Wednesday, December 15, 2004

WOEMAN

A new addition to the Big Book of Bunkum:

woeman (n.) one who wears a fragmented halo, a broken heart on his sleeve and a color-coordinated, 10 kilo (22 pound) pity pot which he carries with care under his arm wherever he goes

e.g. The woeman lingered in an odor of sanctity for a moment beside the sacred scriptural stump where he had carved the name of his beloved sea-turtle, "Kiddliwink", into the trunk of the ancient oak tree approximately 139 years and 17 days ago; if only he could reverse the digital grandmother clock time mechanism (that he found on a Fool's gold mother-board while searching for a vintage copy of How to Vamp without Music by A. Nonymous at a flea-market in Lick Skillet, Virginia) and resume his former lascivious life as a congenial call centre operator at a speak-easy in the glitzy galaxy of Bartledania.

Contributed by: James Tangle-Scudmore, a labyrinth maker of some renown and amateur crop-circle investigator from Chipping Ongar (in the 'Old Country')